It’s Not All Your Fault

Did the cancer spread? Find out…

The next step was to see if the cancer had spread the lymph nodes above the tumor were cancerous. I was still reeling and felt out of control. I couldn’t even find the energy to be optimistic, instead I slumped into the chair and looked out the window. The sun was shining… and this was my life, diseased.

I had faced difficulties before, life isn’t smooth and easy, but this shakeup was different. I tried not let the panic flood through me, but it was no use. I was already panicked. I knew though, even in the flood of panic mode, that this situation wasn’t as bad as I was imagining it to be. Yes, it was serious and I heard the serious tone in from the surgeon. The tumor had to come out, and they had to know if the cancer had spread anywhere else.

The surgeon had deep blue eyes and her gaze penetrated through me, I knew she had experienced this many times. She could read me like a book, I felt vulnerable and helpless, but then something inside me welled up, as it always had throughout my life, my instinct. It burst through me now and I knew that the surgeon had a practiced eye and she would closely examine the scans.

There was no time to lose. The next week I went for the scans. I’m not well up on all the medical terminology and cannot explain the procedures. All I know is that they injected me with a substance and then I went to lie down on a very hard surface and a machine scanned my whole body. You don’t get the results immediately, it takes a while and the surgeon would call me when she had looked at the scans. There was nothing I could do, I had to wait.

While I was waiting for the results, I went onto the Internet and started searching for information. Of course I found it on YouTube. So many people had been where I was. I watched the videos, especially the ones with people who had been diagnosed, as I had, with breast cancer. 

What was especially interesting was the notion that you were doing something wrong if you didn’t choose to have conventional treatment as in chemotherapy and radiation. There was a stigma attached to this. Yet the people who had chemotherapy eventually died. The person who decided not to have chemo changed their lifestyle completely.

Cancer isn’t hereditary. It’s caused by malnutrition, and the deeper cause the emotional disposition. How’s your life going? 

The cancer survivors didn’t have “spontaneous remission,” they had permanent remission. Their cancer never returned because they took charge of their health.

YouTube

As you know this is where you’ll find personal testimonies and answers.

The two channels I found helpful were chrisbeatcancer by Chris Wark and Greensmoothiegirl by Robyn Openshaw. The more I watched the more I learned.